What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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fack me in the ace! CC

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

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Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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