- Anti Joke

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore