I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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