What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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