How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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tea with milk?

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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