Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to the fish? It drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops