How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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Communism hehe xd

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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black chicken. kfc

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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