Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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no rasist joks

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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lets bomb africa

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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