Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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Hey Shea

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops