Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

thumb_up thumb_down

If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down

a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

thumb_up thumb_down

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

thumb_up thumb_down

a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

thumb_up thumb_down

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops