You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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