Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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