Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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