Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Why did? Yes

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops