*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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A child walks into a classroom.

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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What's a joke? Funny

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops