What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

Q: How many Jews are there in Germany? A: None, they all died in the holocaust

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

68

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

Why did the women sleep in the kitchen. Due to the poverty levels of her area of residence, sub-sahara Africa, she, her 7 children and 3 orphaned nephews lived in one ram shackled room with a corrugated iron roof which served as a multi-purpose kitchen, bedroom, lounge and greeting area.

Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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