A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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