Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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