What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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what is more funny than watching a baby fly in a circle at 100 mph stopping it with a shovel

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

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Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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There was a white kid named Tyrone.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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