How does Michael J. Fox mix his paint? He uses the paint mixing stick that is provided, for free, by most reputable hardware stores.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call the Flintstones if they were black? N****rs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

It's April Fools Day... APRIL FOOLS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 BIG black guys? The most common NFL Offence

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

the story below is a truee story...unfortunately!!!!!!!!! :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man die? because he hit his head and drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Jamie Stegman was dead. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3021 North Broadway Avenue

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops