What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Where does the Queen of England live? England.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock! Who's there? Me.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mama is so old, the bone structure of her spine has decayed significantly since she stopped growing and has therefore shrunken in height considerably. Her face and hands have accumulated abundant visual wear; wrinkles, and has arthritis as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man gets shot in the balls by a huge swarm of bees HE IS VERY NICE AND FILLED WITH RICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black, blue, and red all over? A baby after I kill it

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops