- Anti Joke

What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

What's red and has wheels? A red car

Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

What's worse than a papercut? Dying

How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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