What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

#Cutforbieber - Cole g.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops