Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

just in time?

What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

your mommas so fat i like fat cows is she home?

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

wat does say to another bird....... chirp chirp

Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...