when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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What do you call two black men sitting on the porch? Craig and Smokey

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

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what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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