Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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Q:what does jgjdhter hjldhgukrh mean A: it means something it is a real word

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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Your mom.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops