Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Suck pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

everyone wonders y grandmas dont wear bra's its because if youre that old u might die putting it on

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops