Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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Why did the plane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops