how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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why couldnt the guy move his legs cuz he was paralyzed

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Refridgerator.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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