Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Major League Soccer

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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3 like an eel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kill children dont worry about it

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

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There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops