Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

Knock Knock Who's there? You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy. You had purchase an item online through Amazon.com, I'm the delivery guy, who?

Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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