"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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A:knock, knock B:who's there A:come in B:come in who A:me I'm gay

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A middle aged bald man goes to Chuck E. Cheese with a hood and a lump in his back pocket. He has a somewhat enjoyable time with his offspring and leaves.

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

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How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

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Me

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Xbox One

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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