What did the grape do after it was stepped on? Nothing, as it was incapacitated, and even under normal circumstances, it would be incapable of performing any voluntary actions as it is only a grape.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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What do you call 2 black guys hanging out with a white girl? An inter-racial couple helping out their black friend whose wife just died of terminal cancer.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Women's Rights

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Ask me if im an Airplane. Are your Airplane? Hell yes

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

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Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

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White boy in jail. "That ish crazy!!"

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What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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