How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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What did the farmer say when he didn't like his tractor? Man, i don't like this tractor

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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How come Kristin cant go play soccer anymore? She broke her leg kicking her brother in the face.

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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