roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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What's big and fat? An obese man.

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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hey John will you make some copies

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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donald................duck for president

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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Okay, I just really want you to trust me again,

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LIFE :(

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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