A baby seal walks into a club

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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I have a black man in my family tree... He's still hanging there.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

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black guy graduating high school

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what is sticky and brown?a stick

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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DESERT

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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