How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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Two men are walking in a forest And they find this deep whole, so they spit in it to see how deep it but they here nothing So they throw a rock in and still hear nothing Them they find this old tramission and throw that in. A couple second later the goat comes running by and jumps in the whole A couple minutes pass and an old farmer walks up and asks if they had seen his goat and they replied" yea it just ran and jumped into that whole. The farmer says "that's weird considering I had him tied up to an old tramission

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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shut up iggy

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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your mum

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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