What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

Luke Hardie is G@Y

Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

Jesus once got nailed to a cross, beaten and gave his life in order to prove he was immortal. Safe to say, people remain impressed even 2000 years later. Moral: Lol, hey, its quite a feat, but what life did he give if he was immortal? Jesus is a okay dude though, he stole donkeys from stables (for transport) and when his disciples asked if stealing was bad he replied: God will provide for them. Awesome.

whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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