What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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bob saget

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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whats 2+2? math.

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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I can't see my forehead

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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Type 2 diabetics

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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