Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the dog that was chasing it.

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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What's the difference between a table lamb? A fishing pole, automobiles are very useful

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

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Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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Why didn't Sally make it to school on time? She got savagely beaten and raped.

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There's a Korean Black person and a Mexican on a cliff who jumps first? Who Cares

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Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

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Welcome to make your own anti joke! Please use tkeyboard usually available somewhere below this screen.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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You know what sucks? Yes.

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Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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Why do people like the number 69? Because some people have favorite numbers, and 69 is a number.

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What happened to Liam? He Died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know.

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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