Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man get fired? Because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

thumb_up thumb_down -7

who touched the priests sticky hand? Jake Duncan

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you spell eight? 8

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops