why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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YOU

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A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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Why did the the chicken cross the road? Escape.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has two penises

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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Your Mom.

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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