How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

whats worse than forgetting to buy cinnamon toast crunch at the grocery store? Getting beat to death with a gallon of rotten milk...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

Who has downs this joke

Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

Why was the boy rolling down the hill? Cause he's stupid

how do you fit 20 babies into a bucket? you put them into a blender. how do you get them out? chips.

Why do Christians believe in God? They made him up

A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

You

Cancer.

How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

Gorden Brown.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

american government

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia ...where am I

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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