The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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1: Knock. Knock. 2: Don't come in I'm naked.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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minecraft

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A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

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Not mine I want no credit...these were made by two genius's What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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Cancer.

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I don't do cocaine I just like the smell

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So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

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What do you call a retarded sheep? Whatever it's name is. There's no sense in torturing it by pointing out the disability which has made it a social outcast it's whole life.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd probably pay in cash.

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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