What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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When life gives you melons, youre probably dyslexic.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Why do Eskimos build igloos? Because it is the most practical form of habitation for their climate zone, lifestyle, and availability of materials.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

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What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

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what do you call a somone who murders someone else? black.

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This schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. She scored poorly from her lack of practice and experience and was turned off from the sport.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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