Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

I enjoy anal.

123 Main street

What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

KKK

What's gay and ugly? An ugly gay.

what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

Where's my shotgun

A black baby dies and goes to Heaven. When god put wings on him the baby sais, "Ahh gee god am I an angel?" Then god sais, "Nahh nigga you a bat."

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

mark is mark

Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

A man walks into a hospital with a panicked expression, and rushes to his doctor's office. "Doctor, I am in tremendous pain when I breath!" "Hmm, seems to be a lung problem, take one of these antibiotics twice a day." "Thank you so much!" "Oh yah! Your family was brutally killed in a sixteen car pile up."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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