helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

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Watch your lips.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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women have rights

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Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

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a dyslexic man came on this website thinking it was made by his aunt Tina keoj he was sadly mistaken. it was just a bunch of jokes about dyslexic men going into bars

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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What's another word for a priest? Rapist

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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How is butter and your mom similar? They both consist of much fat.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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