What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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new year new me my nigga's chilling on the couch . he'l be happy if i put my dlck inside his mouth next one: i got 4 but i give it to mr. gore when he say whats your name? me:hey my mane is Erick bryan and my puss* is wet wait nonono :D

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why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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A Mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican.

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YEAH THEY DO.

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What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Dancing Potatoe!

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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