A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

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These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

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Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

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Kah-________-

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

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Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

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knock, knock. come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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