What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

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Yo mamas so fat

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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Q. Whats the easiest way to end world hunger? A. Nuke Africa.

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

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knock knock who's there police

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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