A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

why did the woman cross the road? to get groceries for making more sandwiches.

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

What did the mexican get for his brthday? A potatoe

Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

Knock Knock.

what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

What's brown and sticky? A stick

Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

Like if you like big tits.

Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

Women.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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